I’ve noticed something new about myself recently. I have a high drive for creative and new ventures, but once the drive is gone. It’s practically dead. Then I never finish. It almost feels like a glass cannon build in a video game.
The last few weeks I feel like I haven’t gotten a whole lot done. I’ve been busy, but not with the creative fun stuff, like working on my game, drawing, or writing.
There have been some big events going on. Maybelline, my Moms dog, a family pet of 18 years, passed several days back, and we buried her in the pecan orchard.
My wife’s car needed tires and a wheel bearing job done. The shop I normally take it to did the tires, but their mechanic was out with a broken hip, so they sent me somewhere else for the wheel bearing job.
I got a weird vibe from the recommended shop, so I did it myself. I’ve done some stuff on cars, but never messed with the wheels much. It was a little stressful, but in hindsight a highly enjoyable learning experience.
I guess my energy has just been in a different direction lately. Something shifted somewhere.
Even in my gaming something changed. I was playing the hell out of Over The Top WWI, a new miltary sim game with 100vs100 player battles. It’s amazing. But I’ve already dropped nearly 100 hours into since it released last month.
I’m not tired of it yet persay. But it isn’t curing my itch to game after doing my other work. And for me, having a game or “thing” to look forward to at the of end of the day works as a motivation tool for me to get my work done. Its just my little brain hack to get shit done since I work from home.
If I describe it abstractly, I’d say I feel like I’m a firework. (Intentional Katy Perry reference (Best version)). When I get lit up about something, I feel addicted to it. That is all I think about. I live and breathe it. I binge on content trying to learn more. But as soon as I reach the tippy top of that, I’m like a plastic bag drifting in the wind, wanting to start again.
Last few weeks, I feel like the plastic bag.